Yesterday I watched T playing in his sandbox. Our busy boy. It amazes me some times that we created this child - our energetic, enchanting, exasperating, funny, independant, bossy, spoiled, smart, curious, social boy. I wonder about all kinds of things. What would he have been like if his twin had survived. What would we be like with two of them - beyond exhausted? Is T social and wanting people around all the time because he misses his twin - even though I lost his twin at 7 and a half weeks? Or is he just a social boy and it is part of his nature? Above all, how could I have lived so much of my life without him in it? I read a quote when I was pregnant about how having a child "was having your heart live outside your body". Sometimes it really does feel like that. When I stop and think about the miracle that is T. The rest of the time I'm just being mum, I guess - caught up in the daily stuff of life.
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