running for mum

Today was the 2012 edition of the Run for the Cure - a 5K run/walk to raise money for Breast Cancer research and treatment. I signed up a couple of months ago and this morning I nervously paced, waiting for my support team (husband and boy) to drop me off near the start line.

nervous, at home

This week, the hardest part hasn't been the physical preparation, it has been the emotional impact. I've had a big lump in my throat all weekend. This year's T-shirt says - "who are you running for?" In my square, I wrote "Diana (Mum)". And today, I did, what at my current age, she would have been unable to do. I ran and walked a 5K course. Because when she was my age, she was in the last stages of her fight to live.

In a sea of pink, waiting for the start

Fortunately I started fairly close to the front, in the jogging section of the start. I ran for the first 5 minutes, slowly, as there was a huge mass of people. Gradually the mass thinned out and I was able to keep to my race plan - 1 minute run, 1 minute walk for 18 minutes. I pretty much walked the rest of the way, running a few more times - in front of the TV studio where my husband works and where he and the boy were camped out ready to wave to me. I ran down the bridge ramp into the home stretch of the run and of course, across the finish line. The only milage sign I saw, was the 4 KM sign in the middle of the bridge. I was completely overwhelmed with emotion, running and walking in a mass of people, running for and with cancer survivors and in memory of those who's lives were cut short by this disease - in a sea of pink. I've been so lucky to have my support team, who donated to the cause in my name and who texted, emailed, called and cheered for me, leading up to today. Thanks to all my cheering section!

I did it!

becoming a runner

It feels so presumptuous to even write that. But that is what I am doing. Or trying to do. I recently joined this online group. I love the name. In school I was that girl, the last one picked for teams usually, who panted her way around, trailing everyone else badly, with my short legs and chubby frame. And at the end of gym class, I always had a glow-in-the-dark red face. Always. I managed in high school, to be one of 8 girls to letter in sports (it is still shocking to me) by playing on the school's field hockey team, playing intramural volleyball and basketball, managing the school's girl's basketball team and competing in track and field - my disciplines were shotput and discus throwing although my coach tried to convince me to be a long distance runner. I hated running in school and for most of my life. I never felt fit enough, never felt natural and never felt the high that others talk about. When I was in my twenties a friend and I trained for and then ran a 10K race and thanks to my slow pace, we came in last. I gave it up. A knee injury (partial acl tear) sustained playing tennis made me even more reticent when it came to sports. And recently, my only activity has been the occasional walk. My doctor wants me to be more active and I want to be more active. I want to be able to run around with our boy, play soccer in the park with him. So when the ads for this year's CIBC Run for the Cure started, it was already percolating in my head that I could/should do something about it this year. As in, get out there and do it. Raise money and run in mum's memory. And then Dara posted about the Red Faced Runners and posted their version of the C25K program (Couch to 5K). So I joined the group and signed up for the 5K, bought running shoes and socks and started the program. I started slowly - it took me 2 weeks to do the first week's schedule. Mainly as I struggled with how to fit in training into my schedule. I've run in the afternoon, with my boy playing on a nearby playground and I don't like running late in the day. So far what works for me in early morning. During the work week this means hauling myself out of bed at 5AM so I can do the run, shower, do morning prep routine and the morning commute to be at my desk by 7. The mornings are getting darker but so far the weather has been fantastic so I'm hoping that by the time the rain starts, it will be habit enough so I will still have the umph to go. This morning I did the last workout of Week 4 - a repeat of Thursday's run as I didn't complete it on Thursday and I managed the whole thing this morning. So I'm surprising myself. So maybe at the end of next week, I will be able to run the 22 minutes. I can. I will. And after the 5K, I'm hoping to continue with running - 20 minutes 3 times a week so I can say, I'm a runner.

chocolate chip nut bars

Last week our boy and I decided we should bake some cookies and of course, he choose chocolate chip cookies. But he wanted the square kind (bar cookies). I've made a few recipes lately but this time, I went back to my mum's recipe box and found this recipe for chocolate chip nut bars. Actually, there are 2 of these, one handwritten and one typed in the box (our boy wants to appropriate the box and use it as a treasure chest). I seem to recall that we got the recipe after we had these bars at someone's house but I can't remember who gave us the recipe. So, I made these, with some help from the boy, last week and they were gone almost immediately. Yesterday I made some more and they are almost all gone. My husband claims the cat is eating them but crumbs on his shirt would indicate otherwise.

Chocolate Chip Nut Bars (from Diana's recipe box)

1 c flour

½ tsp baking powder

¼ tsp salt

1/8 tsp baking soda

1/3 c  butter

1 c brown sugar

1 egg, slightly beaten

1 tsp vanilla

1 pkg chocolate chips

1 c chopped nuts (I used hazelnuts)

Sift or blend flour, baking powder, soda and salt together. Cream butter, add the sugar and beat until light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla and then add the flour mixture. Add the chocolate chips and nuts and turn into a greased 11x7 pan and bake at 350 deg F for 25-30 minutes and cool. Cut into squares and serve.

baking with mum

A wierd thing happened the other day. A woman at work approached me and said "I found a cookie recipe on your blog, the one with coconut and banana, and I made it. My family loves the cookies. I made some more with walnuts, would you like to try one?" Of course I did. They were great with walnuts and I'm so happy someone is making one of my favorite cookies for her family and made the recipe their own by adding walnuts. We didn't usually add nuts to cookies as my Dad isn't a big nut in cookies fan. Says that walnuts squeak on his teeth.

So tonight, when faced with a blackish banana left from T's lunchbox, I made a batch of oatmeal macaroons (as they are called officially on the recipe from mum's recipe box). I used a big cookie scoop so the cookies are about triple the size they normally are and only yielded about 18 cookies.

 But as I was mixing them up, I was back with my mum in our old family kitchen, with the brick wall and horrible 70's wallpaper (rust orange and brown) and the avocado appliances. And behind the ghost of my mum was the ghost of my gram, a big baker. So I hope one day, T will bake cookies and remember things we baked together and continue the tradition.