crying over cheese

It was slightly ridiculous and it made me smile at the time but there I was, driving the boy home after his so busy day yesterday and he was “starving, Mum” . I suggested he dig around in his lunchbox and find something to eat. And he did – yogurt tube, yogurt drink, slurped up apple sauce and jello (more on that in a minute) and then came the test. The seemingly innocuous tube of string cheese. He got it open and wrestled with it for a bit. His dad had shown him the day before how to peel it off into strings so the boy was trying to engineer something. A giraffe it turns out. I waited. He got it into strings and took a tentative bite with me watching surreptitiously via the rear view mirror. He gave me a sideways thumb (neutral). Then he said, “wait” and slightly moved his thumb upwards towards the good zone. And then he started slurping up his cheese strings “hey, I’m eating this like noodles”. And that, dear readers, brought tears to my eyes. The slightly ridiculous part, crying over my kid playing with string cheese. But they are happy tears. Blessed tears. Tears for being in a place we’ve fought so long to get to.

playing in his first chess tournament

And I’ve had several days of these kinds of tears. Saturday morning when the boy ate 2 pancakes and told me “you make good pancakes, Mum”. Sunday, when he ate ¾ of a waffle and a slice of bacon and got a tub of snack pack jello as a reward. Jello. Yes, jello! Why is this such a big deal? Well, to a child who has issues with food, jello is a big deal. It wobbles. It’s slippery. It has terrified my boy at several birthday parties, and I’ve watched him try to refuse politely, waving his hands, saying “no thank you”, guessing inside he was screaming “get this away from me”. But Saturday, he took a tentative lick, then a small spooned dab, and then proceeded to eat the whole tub. I chose one of his favourite flavours – blue raspberry – to get him started but now he’s tried mixed berry as well. Strawberry and orange are up next. The wins are coming faster now. A whole meatloaf mini muffin at yesterday’s lunchtime food therapy session. Stir fried broccoli and small roasted potatoes last week. But I don’t get to see those wins yet – only reported via email and in the empty food cups returned home at the end of the day. It’s a process.

I’m just so grateful for his lovely and patient and wise food therapists. For finding them in the first place. Who knew there were people who specialize in this? I didn’t until February this year. I’m grateful for my friends who rejoice with me when I tell them the boy ate cereal with milk or pancakes and don’t laugh at me for being so excited. They’ve walked this road with me too, supported me, listened to me and now they celebrate with me. As do all the people who work with our boy at school and at before and after school care. But mostly I so grateful for my boy, who trusts us to help him.

And it is helping. All this has not only brought new foods into his life, he eats more consistently now. He has more of an appetite now that he isn’t so scared of food. He’s sleeping better, no more night time waking in a panic, running in to our room. Better eating and sleeping means better behaviour most of the time and for him, an easier time at self-regulating. So everyone around him is more relaxed, he’s more relaxed and happier. That’s the best part. He’s a happier boy these days. That is the best win.

cause for celebration

It has been a good couple of weeks around our house. Sunny weather tempted us outside, to the garden center and into the garden, digging, planting, dreaming of warm days outside but this week the rain came back. Like most, I’m refusing to put back the winter layers so huddle under blankets waiting for more sunshine.

 The boy had great success this week with his food. He’s up to half an egg (scrambled) and yesterday managed a whole bowl of cereal with milk. On top of the pancake win a couple of weeks ago and I’m starting to feel a bit optimistic that one day, we will all be able to eat the same meal for lunch or dinner sometimes.

And in general, the past few weeks have been easier all around. The level of rushing here and there hasn’t changed but the boy seems happier and more able to regulate his moods, and day by day we are better able to read him and help him before things go sideways.

His most recent adventure is fencing lessons. I admit it was with much trepidation I signed him up for 6 sessions. But the opportunity was not to be missed – lessons in a time frame that worked for us, an instructor with much fencing experience on the world stage, and the focus on eye-hand co ordination, balance and core control all with the hook of sword play to interest the boy all seemed to align. So I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. The first lesson went well although it is always hard to tell from our non-communicative boy. He told me all about the 3 types of swords and that they don’t have a button on the end but something else that sounds exactly like a button.  Deep down inside I think I’m a bit jealous – I admit to wanting to learn to fence and shoot bows and arrows. Is there a yearning to be a warrior woman? The closest I get is warrior pose in the occasional yoga class.

 

Spring means the start of field hockey as well, another sport with sticks. This year I’m running around the field with the boys to help the coach corral the 13 boys. So I’m really hoping for sunny Friday afternoons for the next several weeks.
 

With all the running around, dinner has been fairly uninspired. For the most part it has been easy to throw together meals – eggs on toast, soup, salads, sausages, pork or halibut burgers, etc. A few weeks ago I got inspired to make some treats for a friend’s new dog. So I baked up some doggie treats following this recipe from Cesar the Dog Whisperer and reports are that the dog loved them. I made them squirrel shaped as I don’t have a small bone cookie cutter – the options were sheep, snail, pig or squirrel. The boy and I both thought squirrel would be the best.

Here is how I made them:

Cesar’s Basic Dog Biscuit (from here)

2 ½ c whole wheat flour (1 used about 1 ¾ c spelt flour and ¾ c oat flour)

½ tsp salt

1 egg

½ c chicken stock

Preheat oven to 350 deg F. Heat the chicken stock. Add the stock to the rest of the ingredients and mix well. Knead until a dough forms (~ 3 minutes) and then roll out to about ½” thick. Cut into shapes using a cookie cutter. Place on a lightly greased cookie sheet and bake for about 30 minutes.

 

cookies packed for shipping

 

It's been a while

Sorry for dropping off the screen for so long. We've been busy with stuff - work, school, homework, soccer, swimming, loose teeth ( a certain boy has lost 2 so far this week), birthdays, parties, etc.

felt Christmas decorations

shark birthday cake for boy's 8th birthday

pals test paper boats at the beach

warrier boy at the beach

But mostly what has been consuming my thoughts and any spare energy I have is something that came onto our radar last summer. A couple of lovely people working with our boy at his school suggested that our boy might be on the autism spectrum, so began a new path for us. We recently had the "official" determination in the form of an assessment which did confirm that our boy is indeed on the spectrum. What used to be called aspergers and now is part of the autism spectrum disorder. As with anything, this brings positives (provincial funding for support for our boy and an upgrade in support at school) and negatives. So far, to be fair, most of the negatives are in my head as most people we've opened up to about this have been so understanding and helpful and supportive. With the benefit of financial support, we decided to tackle one of our long standing issues with the boy - his eating. We found an exceptional group of women whose job it is to help children with eating issues. And in the few weeks since we started the therapy, we have been amazed by our boy's progress.

It has been, fingers crossed, mostly good days lately. As we get to know what works with the boy and what doesn't we are navigating our way through. And spring is on its way!