denial

I can no longer avoid it - fall has arrived. Our long stretch of sunny days has come to an end and as I type this, rain is pattering against the roof and windows. The boy is wearing his wet weather layers for soccer this morning. I am wearing these

on my feet so I don't freeze (a gift from my sister-in-law a few Christmas's ago - they are lovely and toasty and slouchy and I love them, despite them making my feet look like they belong on Oscar the grouch or a very large smurf). I've said a tearful adieu to my sandals and am back to wearing closed toe shoes and today will hunt out the wellies. In the evenings, I huddle under a blanket while knitting if I get a few minutes to perch on the sofa.

I keep waiting for the September craziness to settle down, as as the weeks (gah) go by, I realize my schedule is just busy. I've been waiting 6 years for my husband to give up his second job so I could commit to a few things I felt unable to when I was primary carer for our child on the nights and weekend days when he was working his second job. My husband retired from that job at the end of the summer. But as I've been racing around, I discovered that I'd already moved on from what I'd been hoping to do and already filled those "empty" spots with other things that are a priority now - running and volunteering at my son's before and after school club. And realizing that what everyone had said about having school age children, was coming to pass in my own life. That as your children grow up, you become busier with their stuff and their friends (whose parents become great friends of yours) and their school.

So here it is, almost mid-October with Hallowe'en looming with trick or treating and pumpkins to sort out and then before I can catch my breath, it will be the ramp up to Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love these things but sometimes, I wish I could dial it back and not expect so much of myself. I have a growing pile of projects that confront me as I walk around our house - the chair cover that is waiting to be sewn, fabric for 2 dresses I want to make myself, a Hallowe'en costume for the boy that I want to sew, wool for Christmas presents I want to knit, and piles of cookbooks

 full of recipes I want to make. And then this week, I took a cheese making class and now I want to make cream cheese and mozarella and creme fraiche and camenbert and blue cheese.

So this morning, I made myself a cup of tea and hunkered down with this lovely

 - My Berlin Kitchen by Luisa Weiss. A lovely, lovely book which speaks to me on so many levels that someday I will talk about. But now I need to get on with my day, soccer in the rain, grocery shopping and making a pot of turkey chili with the beans that are currently simmering away on the stove. Happy Fall!